Christmas Shopping with Jessica

So, I am on a roll thinking about my recent shopping experiences. Though Christmas 2008 is far behind us, I feel the need to write about this story!

Above is a picture of my dearest and most wonderful friend, Jessica. Look at her cute face! She is beautiful, adorable, and a true friend through and through. In my life, I have had no one like her except for maybe my mother! I love this girl. She is tiny and dresses very stylishly. When you meet her, she strikes you as outgoing and sweet. All that I have written here is true - and these qualities are the reason she is and always will be a close and trusted friend. But, underneath the tiny, sweet facade is a firecracker ready to pounce. Here is a great story about my best friend Jess!

A couple of weeks before Christmas 2008, Jessica and I decide to go to the mall to knock out some Christmas shopping. It is a mad house - of course! We pull into the mall and begin to look for a good place to park. We drive down the second row and discover that one of the cars parked in close proximity to the mall entrance is pulling out. So, Jess does what civilized people do and she waits patiently while turning on her left turn signal.




Now, parking lot etiquette tells you that if you see a person waiting for a parking spot with a turn signal on, that is their spot, move on! Right? Well apparently not everyone knows this simple fact.



So, here we are patiently waiting. The car pulls out of the spot and we are waiting for the driver to move out of the way so that we can pull in, when this woman in a compact car come whizzing around the other side of the aisle and steals the spot. We are both in complete disbelief - HOW RUDE! Jessica is irate and so am I for that matter! I am not sure what I would do in this situation, but here is how Jess handled it and it makes me pee in my pants. The lady is in our spot and Jessica is still there waiting to pull in. She starts beeping her horn and putting her hands in the air like "WTF!" I, of course, have to join in. So here we are, in the car, windows up, yelling at the rude lady, waving our hands, and Jess is beeping the horn over over. Please imagine the scene for a minute. If you were driving past this scene, you might think that we are either crazy or violent. Anyhow, the lady in the spot is just looking at us like she does not know what to do. After about two minutes of this stand off, the rude lady gives up and pulls out of the spot. We both could not believe that it worked! I am not sure if she was afraid we were going to rough her up (which we all know I would get my booty beat), but it was still funny! :)

The end!

Late Nights at Target

Target
Pronounciation: tahr-git [English]
tahr-zhey [French]
Definition: [French] An awesomely inexpensive and clean place to buy almost everything that you might need including, but not limited to: housewares, clothing, shoes, toys, toiletries, etc.

Now that I have the formalities out of the way, I would like to talk about Target. I love Target. It is clean and always has everything that I need and sometimes more. I can go into a Target looking for a birthday card and easily come out with a new outfit complete with shoes, purse, and accessories. Lets face it, besides the mall, Target may be my second favorite place to shop. I love it - they even have a small grocery section where I can purchase all of the items I need for lunch and breakfast. As far as heaven on earth, Target may be the closest thing for me!

So, Daniel and I were talking yesterday about our frequent trips to Target. Daniel has started to notice that he and I always seem to be at Target near closing. Usually there is nothing of interest to note - no weirdos lurking about, etc. Target, unlike Walmart, seems to attract reasonably normal people. So, you think! Do not be fooled people. Target is not completely immune. Here is what happened during a recent trip to Target and it broke my heart like Fredo broke Michael's heart in the Godfather.

A couple of weekends ago, Daniel and I are once again taking our routine trip to Target. We walk in and get what we need. There are nothing really to note, that is, until we get in line. Behind us is a fairly large older woman and what appears to be her daughter. Here are some snipets:

Fairly Large Older Woman: Here is your gift card.
Daughter: I don't need that! Are you stupid?

Fairly Large Older Woman: So has "so -and-so" had their baby yet?
Daughter: Yeah!
Fairly Large Older Woman: Where is the baby daddy?
Daughter: He is in Iraq.
Fairly Large Older Woman: She better get him for child support!

Seriously - this woman said the words "Baby Daddy". It is not like I live in a cocoon and I have never heard that phrase before. But I did not realize people over the age of 25 or 30 actually used this phrase in a normal, non-joking conversation.

Even worse, I was standing in line just staring like an idiot. It was like a train wreck and I could not peel my eyes away. I was feeling the following emotions - shock, astonishment, disgust! My dear Target has been infiltrated and is slowly becoming more like Wally World! What is a girl to do?